Grace, Grief and Gratitude: 3 Days Countdown to 2025

 

D3 to 2025: Falling Leaves

I got an additional tattoo this December. I was supposed to get it on my birthday, but life happens.

Tattoo is art. Tattoo is storytelling.

This tattoo tells the story of my life right now—falling leaves, autumn; in Filipino, taglagas. It symbolizes loss, change, and the painful process of transformation. One of the most significant changes I’ve had to deal with is menopause.

Yes, hindi na ako nireregla. Masaya ako, sa totoo lang, kase hindi biro ang buwanang pagdudugo. Masakit. Madumi. Kailangang tiisin.

But that was what I learned from menstruation—endurance. I came to understand the cycle of my womanhood, like the moon that waxes and wanes. It was only later on, as I entered midlife, that I truly appreciated this pattern of blossoming and withering.

Now that I’ve hit menopause, I am learning anew. Although it is not easy dealing with this kind of loss mentally and psychologically, I welcome the changes it brings, both inside and out. One of these is the constant feeling of isolation. My need to bond with women—friends of the same age and stage in life as well as the communities that contribute meaningfully to society—is stronger than ever. In 2024, I have strengthened old ties; found communities aligned with my ethos and values; some have chosen to adopt me ( despite being insufferable on my worst days) while I have lost a few.

Of course, losing friends and people I once called family by choice is painful. But my cycles and seasons have taught me that every beginning holds an ending, and every ending ushers in a new beginning. The life-death-life cycle goes on.

#gracegriefgratitude