Kuwentong Bangtan: To Let Go is to Grow

I am HopeMon biased but tears well up in my eyes each time The Astronaut is streamed on in my Bangtan playlist. It has been days and I do not know when the crying will end.

I have long accepted the reality of Bangtan's conscription. It plays a big part in their life journey. They have been singing and telling ARMY about it since Map of the Soul era. The entire album, MVs and online concert are replete with subtle signs and subtexts. What brings me to tears is Kim Seokjin's manner of saying goodbye and the way he professed his love for ARMY. It is one for the books. Speak of grand gestures, and his leave taking tops my list.

The Astronaut made me feel loved and seen. It is Seokjin telling me, I matter. You are ARMY, and I love you. No one can romance and love a fandom the way Bangtan can.

There will be six more leave takings to look forward to. More crying and more tears - and laughter. I subject myself to this catharsis because, painful as it is, Seokjin's goodbye is tender, and sweet and hopeful since it is a promise of growth and development. Such is the story of Bangtan. Such is the story of life and death that ushers a new beginning.

This life-death-life continuum is spread out in the entire Bangtan discography and their collective works. Listen to Proof, the anthology album. Look back on the MVs of Spring Day, BST, Save Me, Run and even PTD. Rewatch Run BTS Episodes 152 and 153 where they wrote poems. There lies the cycle of endings and beginnings. And in between, there is joy, friendship, so much love, the grit to take life by the horns, the courage to face one's demons, to find oneself and to speak of the truths that cut across boundaries.

In the MV of The Astronaut, we see Seokjin venturing into the life-death cycle once again. On the surface, he is saying goodbye because of military service. But he is also saying goodbye to the idol/artist pesona and welcoming the life of any normal South Korean guy called to serve his country and the world. This is painful. This is beautiful. This is change. This is Chapter 2.

If anything, I hold on to these powerful images in the MV. Seokjin's smile. Seojkin in the midst of nothingness. Seokjin, teaching the little girl how to bike on her own. To let go is to grow.

Thank you, Seokjin! Thank you Bangtan! Thank you, Bang PD!