Thursday, October 22, 2020

Pilgrim's Pitstop: Into the Potter's House

 

I attended the first online Annual Ignatian Retreat (AIR) with Fr. James Gascon SJ last September 4-7, 2020. Although I am used to attending online retreats and subscribing to prayer apps, this AIR delivered through Zoom was a life affirming experience. The AIR which Fr. James designed and conducted was well paced and responsive to the call of the times. When loss is all around and unspeakable grief hovers like a Dementor, breaking bread online with members of the Magis Deo community is God’s given grace.

Of the many prayer sessions and reflection points in the AIR, three of them made an impact namely, the five senses and hand activity, the Parable of the Potter’s House and the session on sin and forgiveness. Let me share on these three things some more.

I find the five senses and hand activity as the most helpful form of stress, anxiety and anger management technique during these trying times. I go back to the drawing of my hand and the valuables I enumerated there to draw comfort and consolation during days of doubt and discontent. My, oh my… I know I am still the same person with flaws and imperfections but what I cherish these days are very much different from when Domeng and I were just starting out on our journey in Magis Deo. What came to light after doing this activity is the recognition of how God has moved into and out of my life. The days that followed were visitations to roads and paths taken through the years and this process of prayer amplified God’s enduring love.

The second prayer and reflection point that moved me was Jeremiah 18:4, ‘whenever the object of clay which he was making turned out badly in his hand, he tried again, making of the clay another object of whatever sort he pleased.’  I have read and encountered this verse many times in the past. Since I learned hand-built pottery from a professional potter and clay artist, the Bible verse presents a new meaning to my continuing journey and relationship with God.

You see, potters are patient people. They know that clay, earth as a natural element for this matter, has a life of its own. Water is essential to the potter as it helps in setting the consistency and plasticity of the clay being formed. Fire in the kiln strengthens the object’s form, structure and make up. Experienced potters know the science and the chemistry behind this. But they are always open to what will come out of the kiln. Most of the time, hand-built pots and ceramics are imperfectly created despite the process of shaping on the wheel. For some mysterious reason, the shape, form and markings of hand-built pots and ceramics show the hands of the potter. My pottery teacher once told me, “Ms. Zarah, kahit anong paghuhulma at  pagkikinis ang gagawin mo sa bowl na iyan, pwede yan mag-iba ng hugis sa firing process.” When the formed clay meets the heat in the kiln, it will move and bend to the touch of the potter’s hand. The clay has a memory of the potter who created it. This experience gave me a new insight to the parable. God is my creator. I will always remember His touch.

As for the last reflection on sin and forgiveness, I admit that it is the session I struggled with the most. I have questions on mercy and justice. For one, I constantly ask, how does it factor in the process of forgiving?

I have been patiently praying for this since then.

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