Pathways to God

After two postponements, the Magis Deo Youth Art and Music Jam with Mr. Jose "Ouie" Badelles pushed trhough.

Kuya Val led the group of 18 participants, comprised of four Titas and Tito of Magis Deo, one guest speaker and thirteen members of Magis Deo Teens and Young Adults in the opening song and music jam. Singing to Sunrise by Ben and Ben, Kuya Val kicked off the session on a positive and reassuirng note. This was followed by a reflection activity by Tita Zarahon the Examen. As a priming activity to Mr. Badelles' talk, she showed a video presentation about an artist, Makoto Fujimura who found God through art.

In Mr. Badelles' session, he shared his creative process and the sacred spaces of reflection one can carve out in the act of creation. By doing and demonstrating an art activity to capture feelings and memory, one is able to appreciate living in the moment. He also presented his art journal as a way to nurture the self and express his ideas, feelings and sense of being. 

The one hour session spent listening and watching Mr. Badelles was akin to viewing Bob Ross on YouTube. However, with Mr. Badelles, participants got to ask questions about his technique, to identifying medium and materials suitable for the artist, making a decision to pursue art as a career cjoice, to overcoming a period of Black Swan - that dryness in an artist's creative journey. He encouraged everyone pursuing a creative endeavor to just keep giong. It is in facing one's fears where in we become better versions of ourselves. 

When a Magis Deo Youth participant asked him for a description of the afternoon session and the object he will draw to represent it, he was quick to say "sunshine with clouds dispersing."

Thank you Mr. Badelles for being an inspiration to us all! As one Magis Deo Tita said after the session, "art and music are powerful pathways to God!"

Taking Insight: the Gifts of Gratitude

Unboxing the Gift of Gratitude 

Yesterday I had the wonderful time talking about gratitude and it’s many gifts to teens and young adults of Magis Deo Youth. There were 20 participants in all from the age range of 13 yo to 25 yo. I had the pleasure of sharing with them the Examen as a source of gifts where gratitude can be reaped. Happiness, hope, acceptance and self awareness are its by products. We ended the session with gratitude journaling and recommended activities to extend the fruits from our reflection, sharing and taking insights.

Allow me to share these activities and insights with you so that, you may continue them at home with your child. Or, in my case, since our kids are young adults, strike a conversation with over dinner perhaps or family bonding time.

1. We were able to make a playlist of hit songs of the year of their birth. This is link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1FOmPcBDTHfohTdJ6aitB4?si=faebc07391ce4707  

Listen to the songs for yourself and go back to memory lane. Relive moments of joy, glory and challenges that define the age or your generation. This may also lead you to reflect on what was then to what is now. Who are we back when we were starting out as young parents and, over the years what have we become. I hope that what ever your discovered are, it will lead you to a desired grace. Talk to your kids about this. They have no idea of the year or the first five years of their lives. This would make for good story time where in you can nurture family history and enrich the personal story of your child. Such activities at home contribute to the strengthening of family ties and the building of identity. On the other hand, if they do not initiate, let them be. These things take time. There are other creative ways to forge family ties and open channels of communication.

2. We were tired. Many of them were wrapping up the final requirements and exams in school. The recently concluded PH elections was stressful besides. I consider it a blessing to have 20 young people in the session last May 15, 2022. Somehow, having someone to share one’s burdens, worries, relief and joys was cathartic. Listening to them express themselves made me think of rest and productivity. As a gen Xer, I worked hard and partied harder. How are the young people of today managing their time and work/study life balance? Aha. A fascinating topic to explore for another talk or session!

3. We used the Examen as framework for reflection and prayer, recognizing gratitude as an energy and a way of seeing or perceiving its many gifts. Here is the link to the ppt deck I used in the session - https://lovealibrarian.blogspot.com/2022/05/unboxing-gifts-of-gratitude.html 

Have a look at the resources I put together. Feel free to do a follow through especially, the activity on gratitude journaling. We value the fruits of our reflections. Taking action on them is just as important.

I was the facilitator of the online workshop on gratitude with teens and young people of the Magis Deo Youth Ministry and  I was talking about being thankful and introducing the Examen. I was the one graced with hope and the brilliance of youth. Let this not be wasted. Never take this for granted.

They have so much to say. They make a lot of sense. We need to listen to them. Really, really listen. In the end, it was I who gained and learned so much.

#magisdeo #ignatianspirituality #examen #ignatianformation

Lights: Companionship, Consolation and Comfort in the Songs of BTS

I won a BTS lamp in a talk show over on KUMU!

Super salamat @stillwatersph and Lee-An Rosal for taking time to talk with ARMY on the impact and the relevance of BTS beyond their hotness and the drawing power of their music and art as commercial successes. Nakakatuwa dahil may ARMY priest pa silang kasama sa show. For BTS to be a topic on an online show with the banner, Pop Theology: Usapang BTS, is proof of the extensive breadth and depth of the influence BTS has across generations. In this age of grief and loss, the BTS and Big Hit motto Music and Artist for Healing hits all the right spots.

Indeed, the Bangtan Boys and BH/Hybe have achieved their purpose. Topping the charts. Selling merch. Endorsements left and right. Collab after collab with the artists of their choice. However, Namjoon repeatedly said in many interviews and documentaries, that they want to be liked not only for their pretty faces and handsome looks. They want to matter. They want to know ARMY - our story. Such is the process of creation. This is what fuels creativity. Amazingly, the fandom is very much a part of this process of co-creation.

Never have I felt included and yes, loved by a boy band/Kpop group. Even ARMY, thecollective, has so much love and generosity to give to each other and aretolerant of the toxic ones in the fandom. There are ARMY who, with class and sass, would slip in articles, posts and comments in socmed and online communities on the value and ethos of BTS reminding everyone of the very reason why we are supportive of OT7. The relationship between BTS and ARMY has always been respectful, kind and sincere as evidenced in the art and music, reality shows and interviews that the Bangtan Boys put out on a regular basis. 

We are never short changed. We get what they promised and often times more. The Vlives last month were pleasant surprises – Jhope’s trip to the banyo to wash his hands; JK in see-through pajamas singing with nary a care in the world; V and Joonie jamming to Boys to Men; Jimin and Jin in their casual selves going live to touch base with fans but still looking so "adorkable". The boys reach out to ARMY and establishing that connection is automatic. They are our friends, brothers, children, nephews, BFFs of our children, godchildren, playmates of our kids, a student we mentor, a young professional in the office we learn from and the anak ng kapitbahay who frequents our house for meryenda or an afternoon of storytelling and games. We stan them and we see them growing up - which is good. 

We miss the boys during their down time, but the abundance of content to consume, re-watch and reread make up for it. With BTS, we never walk alone.

I have never been to a BTS concert, being a baby ARMY at the ripe old age of 47. I do share my love for the Bangtan Boys with my 20 year old daughter whose biases are Yoongi, Joonie and JK. Like me she gets wrecked all the time by Hobi, Jimin, Jin and V. In the end, we are OT7 all the way. 

Last night, as I marvel and mull over the phenomenon that is BTS and ARMY, my daughter turned the BTS lamp on. From my BTS playlist, I picked Lights from the BTS, the Best album. We listened to the song patiently waiting for the man of the house, our OG bullet proof boy scout, to come home from work in these perilous times.

“You're my light, you're my light 

Always shine into my heart 

You're my light you're my light

No matter how far apart we are 

Your light shines on me… All the angels who know pain 

Flying on damaged wings all through the night 

 Every time I’m thinking about love 

Every time I’m thinking about love…”

With BTS, their music and art, I find companionship, consolation and comfort.

Pilgrim’s Pit Stop: Living and Loving in A Masked World

And so I am back after a long hiatus from writing and contributing to the Magis Deo Newsletter. One text message from Cesar Sangalang made me turn around. It was a reminder on the value of community involvement given the circumstances. As if living is not complicated enough, the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted everything I know as normal and manageable.

 Suddenly, distance and physical space took on a whole new meaning. Facts and information need to be verified and validated by critically examining the source and the intent of its authors before sharing them to the public. Divisions among people and culture have all been magnified and gaps appear to grow wider as science and technology push for cures and solutions to this virus as well as the illnesses that malign society today. To hear news from the Inter-agency Task Force every day does not help alleviate anxieties and fears in a time of uncertainty and unprecedented change. School campuses remain close but there is a need to continue learning most especially at home and from home. We all find ourselves in this predicament. But, strive we must to survive. And it is in the struggle where we thrive and find grace.

Take for example the basic health protocol of frequent hand washing, the observance of social distancing and the wearing of mask when going out. It all sounds simple to do but these health practices require generosity and kindness from each of us. It is about personal care, interior freedom and the challenge to continuously “be”. This is the call of the time and the teaching of Ignatius no less.

Of the three health guidelines, it is the wearing of masks that fascinates me to no end. Wearing a surgical mask, we protect ourselves from the coronavirus and those we get in contact with. Wearing a mask pre-COVID-19, however, had a different meaning. In the Marriage Encounter experience, wearing a mask is an act that prevents us from being authentic and real, but now it is considered an act of love. What remains as constant is God’s call to continue building a relationship with Him with or without a mask. Because our ways of loving differ from one another, the response to the call of nurturing this relationship varies too.

In my quest to find a quiet and scared space to be with God, I discovered Fall in Love, a poem by Fr. Pedro Arrupe.

Nothing is more practical than finding God, than

Falling in love

In a quiet absolute, final way

What are you in love with

What seizes your imagination, will

Affect everything.

It will decide

What will get you out of bed in the

Morning.

What you do with your evenings,

How you spend your weekends

What you read, whom you know,

What breaks your heart,

What amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love, stay in love

And it will decide everything.

This poem helps me work through the Examen as I reflect on my desires and the grace asked and received especially in this time of pandemic.

Pilgrim's Pit Stop: Through the Shadows and Into the Light

Many years ago, when Domeng and I were relatively new members of Magis Deo, we attended various formation activities organized and designed by the Magis Deo elders. The prayer deepening talks and workshops of  Eva Galvey and Monchito Mossesgeld made memorable impressions most especially. I learned a lot from their inputs, the sharing of experiences and their facilitation of skills in building an awareness of feelings. This was before attending a number of Annual Ignatian Retreats. 

These prayer workshops were all beneficial to my growth in Ignatian Spirituality. It helped me focus on my emotions as a way to inform my actions and behavior. I developed a better understanding of myself. This is one of the many benefits when praying the Examen and it leads to more wonderful discoveries. 

The “me” that I often find in the Examen is both beautiful and strange. Creative and destructive. This “me” is capable of generosity and can be downright selfish too. Praying the Examen makes me see my shadow and my light. While there in the shadows lurk my demons, there is always the light to turn towards to. Praying the Examine helps me see this play of darkness and light. It gives me the power to choose and to make decisions. This in itself is God’s gift. God’s grace. God protects and nourishes. And He too, empowers! Praying the Examen amplifies God’s magnificence in my life and in the wholeness of creation.  

I bring myself  into this reflections on prayer workshops, the Examen and Ignatian Spirituality because, recently, I have done something I am not proud of. I know I hurt many people. I realize I acted on behalf of myself without thinking through my actions. Then again, I did not regret doing it either. I am now ambivalent of the entire experience. However, I do find myself praying on this ambivalence. 

Perhaps God is just waiting for me to realize something more about the complexities of human nature. I appreciate that He is there, allowing me to figure things out on my own. All the more reason that I continue praying the Examen and to be sensitive to God’s movement in my life. 

Grace and Wonder with Magis Deo Kids

As far back as I can remember, my family and I had facilitated sessions with the kids and the youth of Magis Deo. Domeng and I led the singing in talks designed for them on several occasions. Afterwich, we assisted in activities of the assigned facilitators. A year ago, our eldest, Nico, joined me in the clay workshop for Magis Deo Kids. Last month, it was couple power time again as Domeng and I led a pop-up card making activity for the children.

The grace in taking part in these activities is plentiful. As a family, we get the opportunity to work together outside the comforts and confines of our home. To be called upon by friends and companions in the community to serve and to share our talent is another. We grow as persons when we share and serve the community. This is an experience I personally value. The love and devotion we learn and apply in the family should spread out to the bigger society and to the world in general. Often, parents need the help of others in teaching their children. I am thankful that Magis Deo, in its own way, has helped us raise our children well.

Lastly, it is also a wonderful experience knowing the young children of Magis Deo members and companions. They are diversely talented, confident and respectful kids. Being with the Magis Deo children fills me with hope. Imagine the programs we can design for them. Think about continuity and formation as a developmental program. The fish and bread is multiplying before our eyes and we only need to discern more to know what to do with these graces and wonderment. 

Pilgrim’s Pit Stop: Rock Bottom

I have been hearing the term rock bottom too many times recently. Late in July, NBA player Jeremy Lin openly admitted that he has hit rock bottom in his athletic career. A friend who has been struggling financially described to me, his current situation as hitting rock bottom. The commencement speaker in our graduation ceremonies last June shared her rock bottom experience in the past to the audience of graduating seniors, parents and the entire faculty and staff of the school. In social media, there are more depressing news and posts about the state of the country and the world. I couldn’t help but think that humanity and the world have hit rock bottom.

In personal, local and global contexts, the doom and gloom of hitting rock bottom is inescapable especially in this day and age. Like everyone else, I do have moments of doubt, worry, fear and anxiety. Events in my life of late made me feel I have hit rock bottom. I sometimes ask, is this part of the transition to midlife? My husband who seems to have a stronger resolve in the changing cycles of life simply called it as growing up and growing old. What I find funny in the midst of all these is my acceptance of this inevitable pull of gravity towards a place called rock bottom. 

One cannot always stay at the zenith. What goes up will eventually go down. It is the law of nature. Sunrise and sunset. Night and Day. Consolation and desolation. I have acknowledged this duality and continue to seek the graces to be had when journeying through peaks and valleys. It is an adventure where God often surprises and lend humor to my often serious take on life. He wants me to smile and laugh. What a wonderful way of loving. 

Pope Francis continues to preach about smiling through tough times. Easy for him to say? Look, the man has only one good lung. Go to the Pontiff’s Twitter page and his message of hope and faith is like a Patronus charm casting away Dementors. I turn to my Ignatian Prayer app, the 3 Minute Retreat, and there I find assurance when reading the Scripture and reflections of the day. In prayer meetings and deep conversations with friends, I discovered that everyone has fallen into that pit of loneliness and desperation. Yet, I see them regularly continuing on, keeping the faith, sharing their spiritual travels in the darkness and in the light. At some point, I realized that our purpose, really, is to become guardians to the isolation that others feel. Companions in the journey, indeed. 

So what of rock bottom and the forces that pulls us down towards it? We have all been there and so is Jesus Christ, God’s only son. 

*For the August 2019 issue of the Magis Deo Newsletter 

Adventures in PAASCU Accreditation

I was recently invited by Madame Sheila Dayrit, school director of St. Mary's Angels College Valenzuela (SMACV) to a meeting and a round table discussion on school library development. The context being that the school will soon be undergoing its first formal survey by the Philippine Association of Accredited Schools Colleges and Universities (PAASCU). As a candidate school, they are preparing for this accreditation visit with nervous excitement.

Memories of past PAASCU experiences come to mind. When I was a school librarian in Xavier School, I had three PAASCU experiences -- two visits as part of the library staff, and the last as the library coordinator so, that made me a member of the PAASCU Executive Committee.

Accreditation is a lot of work. A two day visit is 4-3 years of preparation. After a PAASCU visit by accreditors, one could only heave a sigh of relief. What makes the experience truly meaningful is the involvement of each member of the community. Personally, I appreciate being a PAASCU accreditor. I have so much to thank for.  Being involved in the process of accreditation is a learning experience. Both parties learn -- the accreditors and the school community being accredited. Even the PAASCU learns along the way. The organization is in constant reflection of its processes, systems and procedures. I have had the pleasure of sitting in several assemblies and round table discussions to revise and improve the self survey instrument for Library and AV/Media centers.

In 2009, PAASCU recognized my volunteer work as one of their accreditors for Library and AV/Media Center by giving me the Fr. James Meany SJ Award. I was no longer in Xavier School then, but the award affirmed my vocational calling and answered a question I have kept in my prayers for so long. 

There are people who see PAASCU accreditation as an exercise of compliance, a dog and pony show, and its result will lead the school to raise its tuition fees. I don't blame them. We all are human beings after all. But the fact that it is founded by a Jesuit priest (some will raise an eyebrow), traces of Ignatian charism permeates its system, process and ethos. It will take a while for the rest to figure this out.

For the meantime, I will speak my truth and I hold it lightly in my hands.

Pilgrim's Pit Stop: Reflections on Faith and Life

If you are a follower of the blog, you may have noticed the regular posts I have been writing about: my faith and my relationship with God, the tests and trials I go through - big and small, and the many surprises life has been throwing my way. This Holy Week, as I continue to reflect on the amazing moments when I discover that God is present in my life, I curate these written reflections. Looking back at these events makes me grateful. I am humbled by the graces I receive.

This series of reflections is entitled Pilgrim's Pit Stop.

On Generosity How I pray for grace and when it is answered, it can be life changing and life affirming.

On the Examen and Prayer Apps The Daily Examen is a core of Ignatian Spirituality. Praying the Examen everyday allows me to see and to find God in all things. Through the Examen, I recognize the many colors of life and its complexities. Deep with in the prayer exercise, I experience a knowledge of who I am. It is not always a pleasant discovery. But since God is with me in prayer and in every moment, I am consoled.

On Love and Transcendence  When I realized that I am capable of loving and going beyond myself.

On Midlife and Growing Old with Grace Transitioning to midlife is not a walk in the park, but it can gracefully be achieved!

Living in the Now I have been battling with anxiety since I turned forty years old. I have been prescribed to take medicines but, I opted to go a naturel. Strengthening my spiritual anchor is one way of dealing with the condition.

Pilgrim's Pit Stop appears 4-6 times in a year in the Magis Deo Newsletter. I have been writing for the Magis Deo Newsletter since 2006, when my husband I first joined the community. I took a leave for two years, I think and went back in 2016. It was actually the year when I had my mini-stroke.

You can read about my journey on a second chance on life by following these links: The Big Reveal: My Stroke of Luck, My Stroke of Luck: Trying to Make Sense of It All, My Stroke of Luck: On the Road to Recovery.

Pilgrim's Pit Stop: Living in the Now

Of the many things I learned in my years of being active in Magis Deo, it is the acknowledgement that God is present in my life. Thanks to the teachings during Community Celebrations and the offerings of recollections and Ignatian Retreats by Magis Deo, what seemed to be an abstract and surreal is made real by praying the Examen every day, journaling, reflection and attendance to prayer workshops. These formation activities deepened my relationship with God. What gives me comfort and grace in prayer is always the discovery of living in the now with God beside me.

This recognition of God as my constant companion, caring and forgiving, humorous and kind eases my worries. I worried a lot back in the day. But with this newfound image and relationship with Him, I learned to worry less. I learned to pray on my worries.

And amazingly, God replies in more ways than one. A call or private message (PM) from dear friends who read one of my cryptic social media post. A good news from the eldest who lives away in college. The sun shining in the morning after days of heavy rain. The tree frog that rests languidly on a branch of our avocado tree. The butterflies that circle the white flowers growing in our front yard. Even the sun setting and spraying the sky colors of pink and indigo is God's way of saying, rest now Zarah, for tomorrow, we battle on together.

Once, my boss had the kindness and humility to make me an espresso during "hell" week in school. She knows coffee would calm me down. God was there at that moment when she handed me the cup of hot espresso. It was God telling me to chill and that the line dividing supervisor and subordinate is a man-made law. In the end of all the deadlines and deliverables, we are all hard working people who need a break. I see God in my daughter who takes candid pictures of me when I am in a pensive mood. I am assured. There is someone who will constantly keep an eye out for me. When BCGG prayer companions patiently listen to my reflections and recurring struggles, God is there listening too. Even in the spats and quarrels I have with my husband, petty or serious it may be, God is there shaking, disturbing and awakening us.

At times when I feel He is far away, too distant to be reached and felt, or missing in the little and simple events of daily life, I go back to this memory I have of God as a warm energy embracing me. This happened in a silent retreat I had with the help of a lay formator from the Center for Ignatian Spirituality at San Jose Seminary. That was a powerful experience!

This was five years ago and the feeling remains clear in my mind. This I know. God is here. God is in the now.

Pilgrim's Pit Stop: On the Journey to Midlife

One Saturday I was at the clinic of my primary care doctor. I was there so she could help me read the results of my blood chemistry (plan 12) and hematology. This reading helped me understand new terminology and words pertaining to my health in general. I was fascinated at the way my doctor read the results to me. Explaining every acronym such as SGPT, SGOT, BUN and what it indicates per reference value. Telling me about all the “philes” in my blood cells, what each of them mean and their difference with the “cytes”, the implications if results go over and beyond their value. It was a very informative and helpful session. I will never look at a blood cell the same way again.

Why I only learned about this now, I thought? The biology and health education I had back in the day didn’t sound this interesting. Aha. The folly of youth. If not for my mini-stroke two years ago, I would not pay attention to my changing body. Indeed, life is a bundle of experiences that needs to be unpacked, sorted and to make connections to new ones. Unknowingly sometimes, life experiences allow us to take random mental notes on imaginary posts its to be retrieved when the situation calls for it. And here, at the other side of the spectrum, I find myself being grateful for the benefits of ageing and growing old.

Long and short of it, the result of my blood test gave me reason to celebrate. Images of another cheat meal crossed my mind. Banana pancakes with a generous helping of maple syrup and whipped butter. Yummy. However, before I could run to the nearest branch of Pancake House, my doctor reminded me to drink plenty of water, take longer walks, spend more time in the sun, have enough sleep, 6-8 hours when possible, continue keeping a record of meals taken in a day and to keep smiling. Lastly, she gave me a list of medical specialists to see. Optlhalmologist. Cardiologist. Gynecologist. And my dear Neurologist. Sigh. The GIST saga continues. There goes my cheat meal ideas out the window. Salamat po, doktora!

Seriously, I have been thanking God for answered prayers. One of which is the provision for medical access with doctors who truly care for their patients. For two years now, I have seen doctors who dispense and prescribe medicines with utmost care, taking into consideration my medical history first of all. The other month, the dermatologist told me to anticipate changes in hormones as I age. The eye doctor I paid a visit to last week sensed my anxiety when he mentioned the need to use progressive lenses. He calmly said, Lahat tayo darating sa ganyang pagbabago sa buhay. He smiled and added, You are not alone. How comforting.

At that instance, I acknowledge God’s presence in my life. He is in all things and in all beings. I only need to humbly seek Him and ask Him for graces. He is all I need. He is enough.  

Pilgrim's Progress: Only God

I was cleaning my laptop a few weeks ago. Weeding out old files. Keeping the ones that hold sentimental value and the documents that prove our family’s reason for being to a safer storage. Oh boy, do I have a lot of memories stored in my laptop. One of these is a .mov file I made in April 2009 about the Family Encounter Weekend (FEW) we attended as family auxiliary. Of the numerous files I was organizing, this one made me stop from my inventory. I watched it and I was hurled back to the past.

I remember the Prietos, Tito Eli and Tita Edith, leading us through the three day retreat for families. We were joined by our MEW batchmates then, the Macalalads and the Antonios as assisting auxiliary. Fr. Ruben Tanseco was the spiritual director of that weekend and the family sharers were the Concepcions and the Escosias. How time has changed and so many things have happened since then. Some of the people in that FEW are still active in Magis Deo. Many have left us for a variety of reasons. A few faces I recall and I wonder where they are right now.

At the end of the video, I could only utter a prayer of thanks. We have grown and matured through Magis Deo’s formation programs and it enriched many areas and facets of our lives. We are grateful to belong to a community that nurtures couples as well as their children.

Nine years ago, both of our kids, Nico and Zoe, were young grade school students. Now, Nico is a junior in college in UP Diliman and Zoe is in 10th grade at the school where I currently work. I was, at the time, unemployed. I have just retired from Xavier School after fourteen solid years of service with and among Jesuits and lay partners. I was neither young nor old to sit in a rocking chair. I wanted to try something new. Something entirely different. For the next two years, I worked freelance. Domeng, on the other hand, was fully employed. To this day, he remains consistent, stable and steadfast.

That’s when another realization hit me. Domeng is my constant.

Right now, he is the reliable presence in my life. As I have learned in Magis Deo, one’s relationship with God reflects his or her relationship with his or her spouse.God is my home and it is in His strong and steadfast love where I rest. This fills me with contentment and joy. However, the mere idea of death and being rent apart from Domeng assaults me with sadness and deep anxiety. I often wonder how the widows and widower in the community manage life on their own.

I turn to prayer. I lift all these thoughts to God. For who else could fill the empty spaces and the vacancies in life? Only God.

Pilgrim's Pit Stop: Examen Prayer Apps

I started writing for the Magis Deo Newsletter nine or eight years ago. I took a hiatus for more than two years, I think. But, I am back now. Thanks to a divine intervention, I was inspired once more to write on a regular basis. Thanks to Magis Deo for allowing me a space to write once more in the Newsletter.

Last June, Pilgrim's Pit Stop debuted with an article on the anniversary of my Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA) last April 2016. For the July issue, being the feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola on July 31, I write about the Examen Prayer and three mobile apps that assist and help direct anyone who is willing to do the Examen.

I was first introduced to the Examen by Fr. Jean Desautels SJ. I signed up for the 19th Annotation where he was the spiritual director. I was in my third year of employment at Xavier School at the time and having attended the yearly Ignatian Retreats provided by the school, I felt I needed to deepen my prayer and enhance my prayer life with more meaning and verve. There was also the Consortium required for all newbies. I attended this in the middle of the school year and oh my, how it rocked my soul! I didn't remember praying for God to disturb me, but He did at a time when I seemed to be demanding so much from my relationships and from life, in general. Yet, happiness had been an elusive dream. The Consortium was my spiritual baptism of fire. Looking back, it was there where my spiritual journey began. I will share about this sometime soon on another platform or issue of the Newsletter.

Now, for the apps. These mobile apps on the Examen Prayer are produced and created by the Loyola Press, JesuitPrayer.org and The Prodigal Father. These three apps are: the 3 Minute Retreat; Jesuit Prayer; and the EXAMEN Prayer App. All three follow the five steps of the Examen and all can be downloaded for free in mobile phones, laptops and PC, and tablets and iPads. An internet connection is needed to download the apps, of course, as well as Google Play for Android and iCloud or iTunes for iPhone users.

The Examen Prayer App is made by The Prodigal Father, Fr. Michael Denk. It has an introductory video where Fr. Denk instructs users of the app through the Examen. Of the three apps, it has a space for journaling which can be shared to one's spiritual director, confessor, spouse or a trusted friend via email. It includes a social media channel for sharing on Twitter and Facebook. Of course, the choice to put up one's prayer petitions out there is a personal choice. The app is password protected. Users of the app can set the alarm as a reminder to do the Examen twice in a day.

What I like about this app is the space for journaling because I can go back to it to review my prayer journey, my prayer petitions and resolutions, and the grace received for each day.

The Jesuit Prayer is an online ministry of the Jesuit Midwest and Jesuit West in cooperation with the Spiritual Outreach through Leadership, LCC. The app presents the scriptural reading and Gospel for the day, then lead users of the app to Ignatian Reflection and Ignatian Prayer. There is a separate space for the Examen, prayer cards and a link to the Pope's Prayer.

The 3 Minute Retreat is the creation of Loyola Press. It lives up to its name. It is short, sweet and simple. Yet, it follows the five steps in the Examen. Of the three, this app is something I recommend for people starting out in the Examen. The Examen is a prayer technique that is not easy to do, but when done regularly and if the person is willing, then, he or she can start small and build up towards longer prayer time.

If you think these apps on the Examen can help you, why not try it out. There is nothing wrong with the traditional way of praying the Examen either. I think the beautiful thing about Ignatian Prayer is that we are able to meet God where ever we are in our life cycles and life journeys.

St. Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us!