When Parents Listen to Their Children

Today is the Feast of the Lord’s Ascension unto Heaven, a Sunday we spent with our marriage and family life community, the Magis Deo Community. We gathered to celebrate God’s promise of peace fulfilled and love everlasting.

Every community celebration is truly special because grace in its varied forms are to be had. And for this, I am always grateful. This Sunday’s ComCel is made even more special because we bear witness to the stories of our Magis Deo Youth about their parents. Four members of our Youth participated with only three guiding questions to spur the conversation. Through the guidance and facilitation of Fr. James Gascon, SJ, we listened to three of our “children” share their journey. What wonderful graces we received because, embedded in their stories are the core values of Magis Deo: Service, Sharing, Stewardship and Simplicity. This is God, actively involved in our lives.

A humbling experience, indeed. An affirmation of faith in action. Parenting is never easy. And this is where community comes in to fill gaps, to empower and to be companions in life journeys.

Fr. James had a fitting closure to the session invoking the community to amplify these graces by listening to our children. After all, Parenting is Listening. And while 4 of the 5 core values surfaced in our youth’s sharing, one S seem to have been missing: Shepherding.

I would like to think, and claim, that Shepherding is present, too in Kuya Val leading the six volunteers of the Magis Deo Youth Choir in singing the songs in the Liturgical service this morning. Yes, you can call my bias. But to sing is an act of courage. And to push, guide and accompany young voices to sing songs for the Lord is shepherding too. Isn’t it?

Maybe. But one thing is clear: God moves in quiet ways, in humble acts of presence, in the gentle but firm guiding hand of a parent, a priest, a Kuya, a community. Shepherding does not always wear the mantle of authority. It sometimes takes the form of harmony, quiet encouragement, and the simple yes to serve.

Today, on the Feast of the Ascension, we are reminded that though Christ ascended, He did not abandon. He entrusted us to one another. He called us to be Church. To be community. And so, in the laughter of youth, the honesty in the voices that dared to share, in the earnest songs offered in praise, we find ourselves lifted not just our eyes to the heavens, but our hearts to each other.

This is Magis. This is grace.

May we continue to listen.

May we continue to accompany.

May we continue to shepherd.

Ad majorem Dei gloriam.

Taking Insight: the Gifts of Gratitude

Unboxing the Gift of Gratitude 

Yesterday I had the wonderful time talking about gratitude and it’s many gifts to teens and young adults of Magis Deo Youth. There were 20 participants in all from the age range of 13 yo to 25 yo. I had the pleasure of sharing with them the Examen as a source of gifts where gratitude can be reaped. Happiness, hope, acceptance and self awareness are its by products. We ended the session with gratitude journaling and recommended activities to extend the fruits from our reflection, sharing and taking insights.

Allow me to share these activities and insights with you so that, you may continue them at home with your child. Or, in my case, since our kids are young adults, strike a conversation with over dinner perhaps or family bonding time.

1. We were able to make a playlist of hit songs of the year of their birth. This is link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1FOmPcBDTHfohTdJ6aitB4?si=faebc07391ce4707  

Listen to the songs for yourself and go back to memory lane. Relive moments of joy, glory and challenges that define the age or your generation. This may also lead you to reflect on what was then to what is now. Who are we back when we were starting out as young parents and, over the years what have we become. I hope that what ever your discovered are, it will lead you to a desired grace. Talk to your kids about this. They have no idea of the year or the first five years of their lives. This would make for good story time where in you can nurture family history and enrich the personal story of your child. Such activities at home contribute to the strengthening of family ties and the building of identity. On the other hand, if they do not initiate, let them be. These things take time. There are other creative ways to forge family ties and open channels of communication.

2. We were tired. Many of them were wrapping up the final requirements and exams in school. The recently concluded PH elections was stressful besides. I consider it a blessing to have 20 young people in the session last May 15, 2022. Somehow, having someone to share one’s burdens, worries, relief and joys was cathartic. Listening to them express themselves made me think of rest and productivity. As a gen Xer, I worked hard and partied harder. How are the young people of today managing their time and work/study life balance? Aha. A fascinating topic to explore for another talk or session!

3. We used the Examen as framework for reflection and prayer, recognizing gratitude as an energy and a way of seeing or perceiving its many gifts. Here is the link to the ppt deck I used in the session - https://lovealibrarian.blogspot.com/2022/05/unboxing-gifts-of-gratitude.html 

Have a look at the resources I put together. Feel free to do a follow through especially, the activity on gratitude journaling. We value the fruits of our reflections. Taking action on them is just as important.

I was the facilitator of the online workshop on gratitude with teens and young people of the Magis Deo Youth Ministry and  I was talking about being thankful and introducing the Examen. I was the one graced with hope and the brilliance of youth. Let this not be wasted. Never take this for granted.

They have so much to say. They make a lot of sense. We need to listen to them. Really, really listen. In the end, it was I who gained and learned so much.

#magisdeo #ignatianspirituality #examen #ignatianformation

Magis Deo Youth: Unboxing the Gifts of Gratitude

 

Let's begin the healing process. Send me a PM if you are interested or if you have questions.

Inviting all Magis Deo teens and friends to Unboxing the Gifts of Gratitude where we will reflect on gratitude and its many gifts in our life through songs, music, videos poems and stories on Sunday, May 15, 2022 at 2:00 to 3:30 pm via Zoom with Tita Zarah Gagatiga.

Please register via

https://tinyurl.com/MDYTeensReg or scan the QR code.

2022 Magis Deo Teens Registration Form

Pilgrim's Pitstop: When Love Live 2 is Lovelier the Second Time Around

            Let me begin by telling you a story.

            In 2021, the Prietos invited our BCGG as auxiliaries in the Family Encounter Weekend. Back then, we were known as BCGG Mt. Olivet. Present as couple auxiliaries were the Macalalads and the Antonios. The four of us, myself, Domeng, Nico (otherwise known as Val) and Zoe were tasked to assist particularly in the Music Ministry. This Family Encounter Weekend was very meaningful to me because of many reasons. One of them is due to the fact that our children, Nico and Zoe, took part in the singing of praise and worship songs, as well as the love songs which Tito Eli carefully chose as opening for the ten sessions of the two-day Family Encounter Weekend. Domeng and I did not expect our own children to be a part of what we were doing in Magis Deo. One of God’s many surprises. A given grace to which we accept gratefully.

To this day, I remember this image of Fr. Reuben Tanseco talking to Nico, his right hand hovering over his head in blessing. Later on, I learned that Fr. Reuben told him how well he sings and that it is a gift from God. This is a core memory I keep. It has helped us guide our children when they make choices and in charting and creating the roads they can possibly take in life. For the past twenty-two years, the Magis Deo Community has been our companion in our married life, as well as in our journey as parents.  

So, when the Reantaso’s invited us to sing again for Love Live 2 a week after our days of isolation were over, we said yes despite my fear and our limitations. It was one of those leaps of faith. If last year’s Love Life opened us unto many graces, this year’s run overwhelmed me with so much more.

Love Live 2 is lovelier the second time around because it invited me to take courage by singing to an audience, albeit online.

Love Live 2 is lovelier the second time around because we were able to express our gratitude to the community in the manner and in the language we know best.

Love Live 2 is lovelier the second time around because Domeng and I witnessed how Nico and Zoe have developed their confidence to communicate and work with the couple leaders of Magis Deo, particularly the CSM team.

Love Live 2 is lovelier the second time around because our Magis Youth sang with their friends and family. Their loved ones, pets included, cheering them on.

Love Live 2 is lovelier the second time around because it was bread and fish multiplying continuously!

The pandemic is far from over. It has damaged and disturbed many aspects of our lives. But the human spirit endures. And in Magis Deo, we remain companions in this journey of love and joy.

Magis Deo Kids Lenten Activity: Guide for Facilitators During Breakout Room Sessions

GUIDE FOR FACILITATORS DURING BREAKOUT ROOM SESSIONS

For Story Buzz 

• Follow the Examen Format

• What struck you in the story of the Giving Tree?

• Struck - impression / feelings / observations that left a mark

• What struck you while listening to group members when they were sharing their responses?

• What are you thankful for after listening to the story and in the group sharing?

• Summary of sharing and responses

• Activity 1: Write or draw a prayer to God/Jesus 

• Activity 2 : Write or make a simple Thank You card to a friend or a family member

• Note: It is recommended that the activities be done weekly over the course of the Lenten Season. Encourage kids and parents to take photos of the activities to share with the community (in GC over Viber or in the Magis Deo Newsletter). Parents and children can use them for further reflection. Focus on feelings. Be aware of the emotion while doing the activities and after doing them.  Assist the child in identifying a feeling and connect it to a real life experience of the child. 

For example, I felt happy writing my prayer to God because it is like talking to a friend. Another example is, I felt happy making the Thank You card to my teacher because she is always on time during online classes.

If the child cannot express his/her feelings yet, as well as the reasons for it, do not force the issue. Allow the child to be. These things take time. Just like prayer, if done regularly and with fidelity, reflection skills will develop and the ability in knowing and understanding about feelings will eventually build up. 

• 3-2-1 Technique (Sanacore, 2012)

• Think of 3 important details you have on the story - characters / theme / problem-solution/drawings and illustrations

• Sentence stems to help them think through (use only when kids are struggling)

• The tree/boy is _________________________ because _____________.

• The story is about generosity / love / sacrifice. The new idea I got from it is _________________________________________.

• The drawings _____________________ because _______________. 

• Think of 2 things that are of interest to you from the story that was read aloud

• Ask 1 question you have on the story

• Sharing of 3-2-1

• For #1, you can collect the questions and post them on an electronic board or GC. Whoever wishes to answer any of the questions may do so. If you are ready to answer the questions during the breakout room session, you may do so keeping in mind the objectives of the Lenten activity.

• See the worksheet in the folder on Google Drive

• Introduce the worksheet, the instructions and the questions to the child. 

• Give them ample time to write their answers in preparation for sharing time.

• Recommend that they do the following activities for the duration of the Lenten season:

• Activity 1: Write or draw a prayer to God/Jesus 

• Activity 2 : Write or make a simple Thank You card to a friend or a family member 

Ang Examen

 

Pilgrim's Pitstop: Who is the God You Encounter in Prayer?

In many an Ignatian retreat, the spiritual director would often ask retreatants at the last session of the day of the God they encountered. This is a beautiful, often poignant experience. The God that one discovers during a time of selected silence and reflection in prayer lends great consolation to the searcher. Knowing God strengthens one’s spiritual moorings as he or she sets out into the world once more.

In Magis Deo, after fifteen years of spiritual journey of prayer and service, I found out that I need not wait for the scheduled Annual Ignatian Retreat to encounter God. Though, attendance to the AIR once a year can be life affirming indeed -- opening up to more growth in discernment and in developing a deeper, more personal relationship with God. The daily prayer and journaling, the Examen and the sharing of fruits of reflection, insights and the response to action during BCGG prayer meetings are processes that involve the finding of God in every possible way.

I once asked myself a long time ago the reason and the necessity of finding God. Why is there an emphasis in finding God in all things? Isn’t God, like love is, all around us? Such is the line in a popular Beatles song.

Over time, I realized that there is grace in the act of finding God. It is hard work. It is discipline. It is faith in action. It is fidelity. It is, in itself an act of love. Opening and offering these graces during a BCGG meeting makes God real, authentic, living and moving. There lies the affirmation of His unending love and presence in each and every form of life. Creation is awash of His magnanimity. His generosity is overflowing that it squashes the ego and pride.

Recently, in a joint BCGG prayer meeting, I was struck at the God I encountered at that moment. How I share this image of God to the rest is awe inspiring as it gave me an assurance that I am not alone in this relatively new journey known as midlife. The following days inspired me to lengthen my prayer time and to consistently develop an awareness of God moving in my life.

What I discovered there, in that process of prayer and reflection was surprising even for me.

There is a sense of calm in the midst of chaos. Detachment. Being painfully honest to myself and to others. A new meaning of true love. A desire to understand and experience the peace in God’s presence.

And so, as a pilgrim, I continue to journey on with a grateful heart as companions in prayer and service are plenty to meet at every pitstop. In each step, at every turn and at rest there is God. 

God is with us. Emmanuel.

 

Pilgrim’s Pit Stop: Living and Loving in A Masked World

And so I am back after a long hiatus from writing and contributing to the Magis Deo Newsletter. One text message from Cesar Sangalang made me turn around. It was a reminder on the value of community involvement given the circumstances. As if living is not complicated enough, the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted everything I know as normal and manageable.

 Suddenly, distance and physical space took on a whole new meaning. Facts and information need to be verified and validated by critically examining the source and the intent of its authors before sharing them to the public. Divisions among people and culture have all been magnified and gaps appear to grow wider as science and technology push for cures and solutions to this virus as well as the illnesses that malign society today. To hear news from the Inter-agency Task Force every day does not help alleviate anxieties and fears in a time of uncertainty and unprecedented change. School campuses remain close but there is a need to continue learning most especially at home and from home. We all find ourselves in this predicament. But, strive we must to survive. And it is in the struggle where we thrive and find grace.

Take for example the basic health protocol of frequent hand washing, the observance of social distancing and the wearing of mask when going out. It all sounds simple to do but these health practices require generosity and kindness from each of us. It is about personal care, interior freedom and the challenge to continuously “be”. This is the call of the time and the teaching of Ignatius no less.

Of the three health guidelines, it is the wearing of masks that fascinates me to no end. Wearing a surgical mask, we protect ourselves from the coronavirus and those we get in contact with. Wearing a mask pre-COVID-19, however, had a different meaning. In the Marriage Encounter experience, wearing a mask is an act that prevents us from being authentic and real, but now it is considered an act of love. What remains as constant is God’s call to continue building a relationship with Him with or without a mask. Because our ways of loving differ from one another, the response to the call of nurturing this relationship varies too.

In my quest to find a quiet and scared space to be with God, I discovered Fall in Love, a poem by Fr. Pedro Arrupe.

Nothing is more practical than finding God, than

Falling in love

In a quiet absolute, final way

What are you in love with

What seizes your imagination, will

Affect everything.

It will decide

What will get you out of bed in the

Morning.

What you do with your evenings,

How you spend your weekends

What you read, whom you know,

What breaks your heart,

What amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love, stay in love

And it will decide everything.

This poem helps me work through the Examen as I reflect on my desires and the grace asked and received especially in this time of pandemic.

Grace and Wonder with Magis Deo Kids

As far back as I can remember, my family and I had facilitated sessions with the kids and the youth of Magis Deo. Domeng and I led the singing in talks designed for them on several occasions. Afterwich, we assisted in activities of the assigned facilitators. A year ago, our eldest, Nico, joined me in the clay workshop for Magis Deo Kids. Last month, it was couple power time again as Domeng and I led a pop-up card making activity for the children.

The grace in taking part in these activities is plentiful. As a family, we get the opportunity to work together outside the comforts and confines of our home. To be called upon by friends and companions in the community to serve and to share our talent is another. We grow as persons when we share and serve the community. This is an experience I personally value. The love and devotion we learn and apply in the family should spread out to the bigger society and to the world in general. Often, parents need the help of others in teaching their children. I am thankful that Magis Deo, in its own way, has helped us raise our children well.

Lastly, it is also a wonderful experience knowing the young children of Magis Deo members and companions. They are diversely talented, confident and respectful kids. Being with the Magis Deo children fills me with hope. Imagine the programs we can design for them. Think about continuity and formation as a developmental program. The fish and bread is multiplying before our eyes and we only need to discern more to know what to do with these graces and wonderment. 

Pilgrim’s Pit Stop: Rock Bottom

I have been hearing the term rock bottom too many times recently. Late in July, NBA player Jeremy Lin openly admitted that he has hit rock bottom in his athletic career. A friend who has been struggling financially described to me, his current situation as hitting rock bottom. The commencement speaker in our graduation ceremonies last June shared her rock bottom experience in the past to the audience of graduating seniors, parents and the entire faculty and staff of the school. In social media, there are more depressing news and posts about the state of the country and the world. I couldn’t help but think that humanity and the world have hit rock bottom.

In personal, local and global contexts, the doom and gloom of hitting rock bottom is inescapable especially in this day and age. Like everyone else, I do have moments of doubt, worry, fear and anxiety. Events in my life of late made me feel I have hit rock bottom. I sometimes ask, is this part of the transition to midlife? My husband who seems to have a stronger resolve in the changing cycles of life simply called it as growing up and growing old. What I find funny in the midst of all these is my acceptance of this inevitable pull of gravity towards a place called rock bottom. 

One cannot always stay at the zenith. What goes up will eventually go down. It is the law of nature. Sunrise and sunset. Night and Day. Consolation and desolation. I have acknowledged this duality and continue to seek the graces to be had when journeying through peaks and valleys. It is an adventure where God often surprises and lend humor to my often serious take on life. He wants me to smile and laugh. What a wonderful way of loving. 

Pope Francis continues to preach about smiling through tough times. Easy for him to say? Look, the man has only one good lung. Go to the Pontiff’s Twitter page and his message of hope and faith is like a Patronus charm casting away Dementors. I turn to my Ignatian Prayer app, the 3 Minute Retreat, and there I find assurance when reading the Scripture and reflections of the day. In prayer meetings and deep conversations with friends, I discovered that everyone has fallen into that pit of loneliness and desperation. Yet, I see them regularly continuing on, keeping the faith, sharing their spiritual travels in the darkness and in the light. At some point, I realized that our purpose, really, is to become guardians to the isolation that others feel. Companions in the journey, indeed. 

So what of rock bottom and the forces that pulls us down towards it? We have all been there and so is Jesus Christ, God’s only son. 

*For the August 2019 issue of the Magis Deo Newsletter 

Pilgrim's Pit Stop: What's Love Got To Do With It?

Exactly ten years ago, I wrote an essay about love for the February issue of the Magis Deo Newsletter.  Back then, we were able to churn out monthly issues. Ten years after, a lot of things have changed but the love remains.

I have an archive of the articles and essays I have written in a private

online journal so I recalled what I wrote about love in that issue.

This is the advantage of keeping soft copies of works and written articles

in this age of digital media. Going back to memory lane is easier and

more accessible.

Reading the article, one paragraph struck me because, to this day, I still believe

in the words I professed. I wrote, “when we realise its (love’s) presence

in our lives, we are moved to do greater things beyond our known capacity.

In our all too human eyes, the ordinary becomes extraordinary.

A painful experience transforms into something beautiful. The old is seen as

fresh and new, even ageless. With love, time and space do not matter at all.

In love, we’re diminished but we surface more enriched and fulfilled.

When we love we become fearless. We endure. We persevere… We grow.”

I think about how these lofty beliefs and ideals on love are made real in my life

in the decade that passed. I was only thirty four when I gave up a work and

a position I enjoyed doing over truth, fairness and humility. Ten years ago,

I witnessed how estranged family members helped us survive Ondoy

in its aftermath. I was gifted with the kindness from friends when I least

expected it. I received the generosity of communities I belong to

so I can revive my hope and faith in humanity. There are days when I pray

for a humbled heart to continue acknowledging this grace

because, I feel I do not deserve it all.

As a wife and mother, my heart has been broken several times over. Yet, I go on

loving and living because I am surprised that I am capable of devotion

and faithfulness. For this, I thank my husband and my children.

At the ripe old age of forty four, these I know. True love allows us to accept loss.

Things will never be the same again in parting and in leave taking, but it is alright.

And, when it is time to set free the people I hold dear, it is a way of

loving myself as well.  

May you find love and may love continuously find you! Happy Valentine’s day!

Pilgrim's Pit Stop: On the Journey to Midlife

One Saturday I was at the clinic of my primary care doctor. I was there so she could help me read the results of my blood chemistry (plan 12) and hematology. This reading helped me understand new terminology and words pertaining to my health in general. I was fascinated at the way my doctor read the results to me. Explaining every acronym such as SGPT, SGOT, BUN and what it indicates per reference value. Telling me about all the “philes” in my blood cells, what each of them mean and their difference with the “cytes”, the implications if results go over and beyond their value. It was a very informative and helpful session. I will never look at a blood cell the same way again.

Why I only learned about this now, I thought? The biology and health education I had back in the day didn’t sound this interesting. Aha. The folly of youth. If not for my mini-stroke two years ago, I would not pay attention to my changing body. Indeed, life is a bundle of experiences that needs to be unpacked, sorted and to make connections to new ones. Unknowingly sometimes, life experiences allow us to take random mental notes on imaginary posts its to be retrieved when the situation calls for it. And here, at the other side of the spectrum, I find myself being grateful for the benefits of ageing and growing old.

Long and short of it, the result of my blood test gave me reason to celebrate. Images of another cheat meal crossed my mind. Banana pancakes with a generous helping of maple syrup and whipped butter. Yummy. However, before I could run to the nearest branch of Pancake House, my doctor reminded me to drink plenty of water, take longer walks, spend more time in the sun, have enough sleep, 6-8 hours when possible, continue keeping a record of meals taken in a day and to keep smiling. Lastly, she gave me a list of medical specialists to see. Optlhalmologist. Cardiologist. Gynecologist. And my dear Neurologist. Sigh. The GIST saga continues. There goes my cheat meal ideas out the window. Salamat po, doktora!

Seriously, I have been thanking God for answered prayers. One of which is the provision for medical access with doctors who truly care for their patients. For two years now, I have seen doctors who dispense and prescribe medicines with utmost care, taking into consideration my medical history first of all. The other month, the dermatologist told me to anticipate changes in hormones as I age. The eye doctor I paid a visit to last week sensed my anxiety when he mentioned the need to use progressive lenses. He calmly said, Lahat tayo darating sa ganyang pagbabago sa buhay. He smiled and added, You are not alone. How comforting.

At that instance, I acknowledge God’s presence in my life. He is in all things and in all beings. I only need to humbly seek Him and ask Him for graces. He is all I need. He is enough.  

Pilgrim's Progress: Only God

I was cleaning my laptop a few weeks ago. Weeding out old files. Keeping the ones that hold sentimental value and the documents that prove our family’s reason for being to a safer storage. Oh boy, do I have a lot of memories stored in my laptop. One of these is a .mov file I made in April 2009 about the Family Encounter Weekend (FEW) we attended as family auxiliary. Of the numerous files I was organizing, this one made me stop from my inventory. I watched it and I was hurled back to the past.

I remember the Prietos, Tito Eli and Tita Edith, leading us through the three day retreat for families. We were joined by our MEW batchmates then, the Macalalads and the Antonios as assisting auxiliary. Fr. Ruben Tanseco was the spiritual director of that weekend and the family sharers were the Concepcions and the Escosias. How time has changed and so many things have happened since then. Some of the people in that FEW are still active in Magis Deo. Many have left us for a variety of reasons. A few faces I recall and I wonder where they are right now.

At the end of the video, I could only utter a prayer of thanks. We have grown and matured through Magis Deo’s formation programs and it enriched many areas and facets of our lives. We are grateful to belong to a community that nurtures couples as well as their children.

Nine years ago, both of our kids, Nico and Zoe, were young grade school students. Now, Nico is a junior in college in UP Diliman and Zoe is in 10th grade at the school where I currently work. I was, at the time, unemployed. I have just retired from Xavier School after fourteen solid years of service with and among Jesuits and lay partners. I was neither young nor old to sit in a rocking chair. I wanted to try something new. Something entirely different. For the next two years, I worked freelance. Domeng, on the other hand, was fully employed. To this day, he remains consistent, stable and steadfast.

That’s when another realization hit me. Domeng is my constant.

Right now, he is the reliable presence in my life. As I have learned in Magis Deo, one’s relationship with God reflects his or her relationship with his or her spouse.God is my home and it is in His strong and steadfast love where I rest. This fills me with contentment and joy. However, the mere idea of death and being rent apart from Domeng assaults me with sadness and deep anxiety. I often wonder how the widows and widower in the community manage life on their own.

I turn to prayer. I lift all these thoughts to God. For who else could fill the empty spaces and the vacancies in life? Only God.

When Parents Grow Up With Their Children

When Domeng and I had our Marriage Encounter Weekend in 2006, Nico was 9 years old and Zoe was 5. In the span of eleven years, Nico and Zoe have grown up being kind, smart and talented young adults. Nico is pursuing an academic career as a Music Pedagogist while Zoe is a Grade 10 student contemplating on taking a college course in Design or Fine Arts. They are our pride and joy. It is my fervent prayer  that they find their true passions and when they do, use it to make this world a better place.

While this brief profile of our kids looks good, it is but a small fraction of a bigger picture. One that has the real and unmasked portrait of the struggles they faced in the past and some challenges they still grapple with. I am sure that life will show them many more. When tough times come a calling, I hope that they take it with a prayer in their hearts that God is always by their side.

Of the many things I learned from being a parent to Nico and Zoe, it is that vulnerability is a grace. When I was a young mother, my motto was, when the going gets tough the tough gets going. Months and years after the Marriage Encounter Weekend and Family Encounter Weekends (we attended as a family candidate in 2007 and as auxi family in 2009) this changed to when the going gets tough, it is God who gets it going. I learned to seek help, to ask, even beg for assistance and support from others. First of all, I started  being open to Domeng about their needs, my mothering issues and what keeps me awake at night. From my husband, I realized the value of building one’s strength of character, my own and my children’s too.

I also learned that my children are their own persons. I came to respect their decisions, learning styles, moods and temperament. Listening to them is the most enjoyable. Letting them go is the more difficult thing to do. It is not wise to control or impose on them but when I do, as I am not perfect, I face them with an honest apology. I am forgiven so easily. It is there where love rests.

The apples did not fall far from the tree, of course. So many times I see myself in them and I see Domeng too. Often, I am happy to discover these characteristics manifest in real life applications. Sometimes, not so. Nonetheless, this mirroring only makes parenting more meaningful as I resolve to be a better version of myself for their sake and my own too.

Our children are growing up in this new stage of their lives. They need more space and time to fully appreciate and find wisdom in adulting. I remain their mother, of course, but I too grow with them as a person. How my role has shifted from caretaker, to teacher to counselor and now, mentor and life coach! Indeed, our children are God’s gift to us and to the world.

Pilgrim's Pit Stop: Examen Prayer Apps

I started writing for the Magis Deo Newsletter nine or eight years ago. I took a hiatus for more than two years, I think. But, I am back now. Thanks to a divine intervention, I was inspired once more to write on a regular basis. Thanks to Magis Deo for allowing me a space to write once more in the Newsletter.

Last June, Pilgrim's Pit Stop debuted with an article on the anniversary of my Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA) last April 2016. For the July issue, being the feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola on July 31, I write about the Examen Prayer and three mobile apps that assist and help direct anyone who is willing to do the Examen.

I was first introduced to the Examen by Fr. Jean Desautels SJ. I signed up for the 19th Annotation where he was the spiritual director. I was in my third year of employment at Xavier School at the time and having attended the yearly Ignatian Retreats provided by the school, I felt I needed to deepen my prayer and enhance my prayer life with more meaning and verve. There was also the Consortium required for all newbies. I attended this in the middle of the school year and oh my, how it rocked my soul! I didn't remember praying for God to disturb me, but He did at a time when I seemed to be demanding so much from my relationships and from life, in general. Yet, happiness had been an elusive dream. The Consortium was my spiritual baptism of fire. Looking back, it was there where my spiritual journey began. I will share about this sometime soon on another platform or issue of the Newsletter.

Now, for the apps. These mobile apps on the Examen Prayer are produced and created by the Loyola Press, JesuitPrayer.org and The Prodigal Father. These three apps are: the 3 Minute Retreat; Jesuit Prayer; and the EXAMEN Prayer App. All three follow the five steps of the Examen and all can be downloaded for free in mobile phones, laptops and PC, and tablets and iPads. An internet connection is needed to download the apps, of course, as well as Google Play for Android and iCloud or iTunes for iPhone users.

The Examen Prayer App is made by The Prodigal Father, Fr. Michael Denk. It has an introductory video where Fr. Denk instructs users of the app through the Examen. Of the three apps, it has a space for journaling which can be shared to one's spiritual director, confessor, spouse or a trusted friend via email. It includes a social media channel for sharing on Twitter and Facebook. Of course, the choice to put up one's prayer petitions out there is a personal choice. The app is password protected. Users of the app can set the alarm as a reminder to do the Examen twice in a day.

What I like about this app is the space for journaling because I can go back to it to review my prayer journey, my prayer petitions and resolutions, and the grace received for each day.

The Jesuit Prayer is an online ministry of the Jesuit Midwest and Jesuit West in cooperation with the Spiritual Outreach through Leadership, LCC. The app presents the scriptural reading and Gospel for the day, then lead users of the app to Ignatian Reflection and Ignatian Prayer. There is a separate space for the Examen, prayer cards and a link to the Pope's Prayer.

The 3 Minute Retreat is the creation of Loyola Press. It lives up to its name. It is short, sweet and simple. Yet, it follows the five steps in the Examen. Of the three, this app is something I recommend for people starting out in the Examen. The Examen is a prayer technique that is not easy to do, but when done regularly and if the person is willing, then, he or she can start small and build up towards longer prayer time.

If you think these apps on the Examen can help you, why not try it out. There is nothing wrong with the traditional way of praying the Examen either. I think the beautiful thing about Ignatian Prayer is that we are able to meet God where ever we are in our life cycles and life journeys.

St. Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us!