When Parents Listen to Their Children

Today is the Feast of the Lord’s Ascension unto Heaven, a Sunday we spent with our marriage and family life community, the Magis Deo Community. We gathered to celebrate God’s promise of peace fulfilled and love everlasting.

Every community celebration is truly special because grace in its varied forms are to be had. And for this, I am always grateful. This Sunday’s ComCel is made even more special because we bear witness to the stories of our Magis Deo Youth about their parents. Four members of our Youth participated with only three guiding questions to spur the conversation. Through the guidance and facilitation of Fr. James Gascon, SJ, we listened to three of our “children” share their journey. What wonderful graces we received because, embedded in their stories are the core values of Magis Deo: Service, Sharing, Stewardship and Simplicity. This is God, actively involved in our lives.

A humbling experience, indeed. An affirmation of faith in action. Parenting is never easy. And this is where community comes in to fill gaps, to empower and to be companions in life journeys.

Fr. James had a fitting closure to the session invoking the community to amplify these graces by listening to our children. After all, Parenting is Listening. And while 4 of the 5 core values surfaced in our youth’s sharing, one S seem to have been missing: Shepherding.

I would like to think, and claim, that Shepherding is present, too in Kuya Val leading the six volunteers of the Magis Deo Youth Choir in singing the songs in the Liturgical service this morning. Yes, you can call my bias. But to sing is an act of courage. And to push, guide and accompany young voices to sing songs for the Lord is shepherding too. Isn’t it?

Maybe. But one thing is clear: God moves in quiet ways, in humble acts of presence, in the gentle but firm guiding hand of a parent, a priest, a Kuya, a community. Shepherding does not always wear the mantle of authority. It sometimes takes the form of harmony, quiet encouragement, and the simple yes to serve.

Today, on the Feast of the Ascension, we are reminded that though Christ ascended, He did not abandon. He entrusted us to one another. He called us to be Church. To be community. And so, in the laughter of youth, the honesty in the voices that dared to share, in the earnest songs offered in praise, we find ourselves lifted not just our eyes to the heavens, but our hearts to each other.

This is Magis. This is grace.

May we continue to listen.

May we continue to accompany.

May we continue to shepherd.

Ad majorem Dei gloriam.

MAGIS DEO Teens and YSA Program for February 2024

I used this plan for the Community Celebration of Magis Deo last February with the Magis Deo Teens and Young Single Adults.

A. Perking Up: Getting to know you game / human bingo / Evolution Game

B. Priming Activity

Prompt: Lights by BTS or Shadows and Lights by Joni Mitchell

Plan B: Show a photo of lights and shadows

Learning Experience: Lights and Shadows

- Think of 3 events in the past year that gave you light or you have been a light. Think of 3 events that led you to the shadows in the past year.

1.       What dominant emotions did you feel during moments of lights/shadows?

2.       How did you respond to your moments of lights/shadows?

3.       Who was there with you in your moments of lights/shadows?

C. Sharing or Posting of responses on the board

D. Group prayer

Part 2:  MAGIS DEO YOUTH AGENDA: YSA and Teens Activity for 2024

-          Present the activities done in the past year

Let’s dream together: what activities do you recommend that will allow you to be a light for yourself and for others?

Make a list of 3 activities. Write 2-3 sentences describing each activity.

We never walk alone: How can we make our dream activities for YSA and Magis Teens come true?

Next meeting, we will present what the group has put together and how Magis Deo can walk with us given the rules and resources available.

Pilgrim's Pitstop: When Love Live 2 is Lovelier the Second Time Around

            Let me begin by telling you a story.

            In 2021, the Prietos invited our BCGG as auxiliaries in the Family Encounter Weekend. Back then, we were known as BCGG Mt. Olivet. Present as couple auxiliaries were the Macalalads and the Antonios. The four of us, myself, Domeng, Nico (otherwise known as Val) and Zoe were tasked to assist particularly in the Music Ministry. This Family Encounter Weekend was very meaningful to me because of many reasons. One of them is due to the fact that our children, Nico and Zoe, took part in the singing of praise and worship songs, as well as the love songs which Tito Eli carefully chose as opening for the ten sessions of the two-day Family Encounter Weekend. Domeng and I did not expect our own children to be a part of what we were doing in Magis Deo. One of God’s many surprises. A given grace to which we accept gratefully.

To this day, I remember this image of Fr. Reuben Tanseco talking to Nico, his right hand hovering over his head in blessing. Later on, I learned that Fr. Reuben told him how well he sings and that it is a gift from God. This is a core memory I keep. It has helped us guide our children when they make choices and in charting and creating the roads they can possibly take in life. For the past twenty-two years, the Magis Deo Community has been our companion in our married life, as well as in our journey as parents.  

So, when the Reantaso’s invited us to sing again for Love Live 2 a week after our days of isolation were over, we said yes despite my fear and our limitations. It was one of those leaps of faith. If last year’s Love Life opened us unto many graces, this year’s run overwhelmed me with so much more.

Love Live 2 is lovelier the second time around because it invited me to take courage by singing to an audience, albeit online.

Love Live 2 is lovelier the second time around because we were able to express our gratitude to the community in the manner and in the language we know best.

Love Live 2 is lovelier the second time around because Domeng and I witnessed how Nico and Zoe have developed their confidence to communicate and work with the couple leaders of Magis Deo, particularly the CSM team.

Love Live 2 is lovelier the second time around because our Magis Youth sang with their friends and family. Their loved ones, pets included, cheering them on.

Love Live 2 is lovelier the second time around because it was bread and fish multiplying continuously!

The pandemic is far from over. It has damaged and disturbed many aspects of our lives. But the human spirit endures. And in Magis Deo, we remain companions in this journey of love and joy.

Ang Examen

 

Pilgrim's Pitstop: Who is the God You Encounter in Prayer?

In many an Ignatian retreat, the spiritual director would often ask retreatants at the last session of the day of the God they encountered. This is a beautiful, often poignant experience. The God that one discovers during a time of selected silence and reflection in prayer lends great consolation to the searcher. Knowing God strengthens one’s spiritual moorings as he or she sets out into the world once more.

In Magis Deo, after fifteen years of spiritual journey of prayer and service, I found out that I need not wait for the scheduled Annual Ignatian Retreat to encounter God. Though, attendance to the AIR once a year can be life affirming indeed -- opening up to more growth in discernment and in developing a deeper, more personal relationship with God. The daily prayer and journaling, the Examen and the sharing of fruits of reflection, insights and the response to action during BCGG prayer meetings are processes that involve the finding of God in every possible way.

I once asked myself a long time ago the reason and the necessity of finding God. Why is there an emphasis in finding God in all things? Isn’t God, like love is, all around us? Such is the line in a popular Beatles song.

Over time, I realized that there is grace in the act of finding God. It is hard work. It is discipline. It is faith in action. It is fidelity. It is, in itself an act of love. Opening and offering these graces during a BCGG meeting makes God real, authentic, living and moving. There lies the affirmation of His unending love and presence in each and every form of life. Creation is awash of His magnanimity. His generosity is overflowing that it squashes the ego and pride.

Recently, in a joint BCGG prayer meeting, I was struck at the God I encountered at that moment. How I share this image of God to the rest is awe inspiring as it gave me an assurance that I am not alone in this relatively new journey known as midlife. The following days inspired me to lengthen my prayer time and to consistently develop an awareness of God moving in my life.

What I discovered there, in that process of prayer and reflection was surprising even for me.

There is a sense of calm in the midst of chaos. Detachment. Being painfully honest to myself and to others. A new meaning of true love. A desire to understand and experience the peace in God’s presence.

And so, as a pilgrim, I continue to journey on with a grateful heart as companions in prayer and service are plenty to meet at every pitstop. In each step, at every turn and at rest there is God. 

God is with us. Emmanuel.

 

Pilgrim’s Pit Stop: Rock Bottom

I have been hearing the term rock bottom too many times recently. Late in July, NBA player Jeremy Lin openly admitted that he has hit rock bottom in his athletic career. A friend who has been struggling financially described to me, his current situation as hitting rock bottom. The commencement speaker in our graduation ceremonies last June shared her rock bottom experience in the past to the audience of graduating seniors, parents and the entire faculty and staff of the school. In social media, there are more depressing news and posts about the state of the country and the world. I couldn’t help but think that humanity and the world have hit rock bottom.

In personal, local and global contexts, the doom and gloom of hitting rock bottom is inescapable especially in this day and age. Like everyone else, I do have moments of doubt, worry, fear and anxiety. Events in my life of late made me feel I have hit rock bottom. I sometimes ask, is this part of the transition to midlife? My husband who seems to have a stronger resolve in the changing cycles of life simply called it as growing up and growing old. What I find funny in the midst of all these is my acceptance of this inevitable pull of gravity towards a place called rock bottom. 

One cannot always stay at the zenith. What goes up will eventually go down. It is the law of nature. Sunrise and sunset. Night and Day. Consolation and desolation. I have acknowledged this duality and continue to seek the graces to be had when journeying through peaks and valleys. It is an adventure where God often surprises and lend humor to my often serious take on life. He wants me to smile and laugh. What a wonderful way of loving. 

Pope Francis continues to preach about smiling through tough times. Easy for him to say? Look, the man has only one good lung. Go to the Pontiff’s Twitter page and his message of hope and faith is like a Patronus charm casting away Dementors. I turn to my Ignatian Prayer app, the 3 Minute Retreat, and there I find assurance when reading the Scripture and reflections of the day. In prayer meetings and deep conversations with friends, I discovered that everyone has fallen into that pit of loneliness and desperation. Yet, I see them regularly continuing on, keeping the faith, sharing their spiritual travels in the darkness and in the light. At some point, I realized that our purpose, really, is to become guardians to the isolation that others feel. Companions in the journey, indeed. 

So what of rock bottom and the forces that pulls us down towards it? We have all been there and so is Jesus Christ, God’s only son. 

*For the August 2019 issue of the Magis Deo Newsletter 

Pilgrim's Pit Stop: Dearest Lord, Teach Me To Be Generous

Pilgrim’s Pit Stop: Dearest Lord, Teach Me To Be Generous

By Zarah C. Gagatiga, BCGG Emmanuel

Sometime in early February, I felt weighed down, irrelevant and vulnerable. Work made me listless and dissatisfied. Changes in family life left me confused, even lost. Under the circumstances, I would rather protect myself by staying in my comfort zone. I did recognize the invitation to be brave. Being brave, however, would mean taking risks, going the extra mile and stretching an arm and a leg. I found myself asking, “what for?” and at “what cost?” I was tired.

For several days, I allowed myself to be irresponsible. And it helped me. Seriously, it did. I stepped back from the noise. I loosened up. I ranted.

That was when, for some reason, I heard the song Prayer of Generosity a couple of times. I heard it one time in the van on my way to work. Then at school, when some students preparing for the school fair burst out singing liturgical songs and Panalangin ng Pagiging Bukas Palad was in the play list. Na-LSS* tuloy ako.

Indeed, God knows me so well that He called me back in a way that is loving and tender. He spoke to me through music and song. A language I could truly understand.

Recognizing this grace, I tucked it in my prayer and opened myself to God’s hands.

Dearest Lord, Teach me to be generous… to give and not to count the cost… except that of knowing, that I do Your most holy will.

This was my prayer and God’s response was immediate and swift.

A few days after that episode, I found myself reconnecting with my father whom I do not regularly see except on family holidays and emergencies. For a week, my seventy year old father stayed with us. My kids experienced once again, how it is to have a grandfather.  To our delight, he repaired the old bike that has gotten rusty over the years. This gesture seemed so small, but the message is laden with life lessons. My father’s presence at home reminded me of two things: to live in the now and to simply be.

A month has passed and I have kept in touch with my father. I realized how selfish I have been in taking care of my aging parents. This is a role reversal I was not ready to take on. I carried it with a burden and refused to accept the blessings that it offered me. Apparently, God has a way of showing me the gifts of family life in light of the changing dynamics between parent and child. The child will always learn from the parent in whatever stage or cycle they are in. I did receive the grace of generosity and more! Humility. Forgiveness. And gratitude.

Pilgrim's Progress: Only God

I was cleaning my laptop a few weeks ago. Weeding out old files. Keeping the ones that hold sentimental value and the documents that prove our family’s reason for being to a safer storage. Oh boy, do I have a lot of memories stored in my laptop. One of these is a .mov file I made in April 2009 about the Family Encounter Weekend (FEW) we attended as family auxiliary. Of the numerous files I was organizing, this one made me stop from my inventory. I watched it and I was hurled back to the past.

I remember the Prietos, Tito Eli and Tita Edith, leading us through the three day retreat for families. We were joined by our MEW batchmates then, the Macalalads and the Antonios as assisting auxiliary. Fr. Ruben Tanseco was the spiritual director of that weekend and the family sharers were the Concepcions and the Escosias. How time has changed and so many things have happened since then. Some of the people in that FEW are still active in Magis Deo. Many have left us for a variety of reasons. A few faces I recall and I wonder where they are right now.

At the end of the video, I could only utter a prayer of thanks. We have grown and matured through Magis Deo’s formation programs and it enriched many areas and facets of our lives. We are grateful to belong to a community that nurtures couples as well as their children.

Nine years ago, both of our kids, Nico and Zoe, were young grade school students. Now, Nico is a junior in college in UP Diliman and Zoe is in 10th grade at the school where I currently work. I was, at the time, unemployed. I have just retired from Xavier School after fourteen solid years of service with and among Jesuits and lay partners. I was neither young nor old to sit in a rocking chair. I wanted to try something new. Something entirely different. For the next two years, I worked freelance. Domeng, on the other hand, was fully employed. To this day, he remains consistent, stable and steadfast.

That’s when another realization hit me. Domeng is my constant.

Right now, he is the reliable presence in my life. As I have learned in Magis Deo, one’s relationship with God reflects his or her relationship with his or her spouse.God is my home and it is in His strong and steadfast love where I rest. This fills me with contentment and joy. However, the mere idea of death and being rent apart from Domeng assaults me with sadness and deep anxiety. I often wonder how the widows and widower in the community manage life on their own.

I turn to prayer. I lift all these thoughts to God. For who else could fill the empty spaces and the vacancies in life? Only God.

Pilgrim's Pit Stop: Examen Prayer Apps

I started writing for the Magis Deo Newsletter nine or eight years ago. I took a hiatus for more than two years, I think. But, I am back now. Thanks to a divine intervention, I was inspired once more to write on a regular basis. Thanks to Magis Deo for allowing me a space to write once more in the Newsletter.

Last June, Pilgrim's Pit Stop debuted with an article on the anniversary of my Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA) last April 2016. For the July issue, being the feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola on July 31, I write about the Examen Prayer and three mobile apps that assist and help direct anyone who is willing to do the Examen.

I was first introduced to the Examen by Fr. Jean Desautels SJ. I signed up for the 19th Annotation where he was the spiritual director. I was in my third year of employment at Xavier School at the time and having attended the yearly Ignatian Retreats provided by the school, I felt I needed to deepen my prayer and enhance my prayer life with more meaning and verve. There was also the Consortium required for all newbies. I attended this in the middle of the school year and oh my, how it rocked my soul! I didn't remember praying for God to disturb me, but He did at a time when I seemed to be demanding so much from my relationships and from life, in general. Yet, happiness had been an elusive dream. The Consortium was my spiritual baptism of fire. Looking back, it was there where my spiritual journey began. I will share about this sometime soon on another platform or issue of the Newsletter.

Now, for the apps. These mobile apps on the Examen Prayer are produced and created by the Loyola Press, JesuitPrayer.org and The Prodigal Father. These three apps are: the 3 Minute Retreat; Jesuit Prayer; and the EXAMEN Prayer App. All three follow the five steps of the Examen and all can be downloaded for free in mobile phones, laptops and PC, and tablets and iPads. An internet connection is needed to download the apps, of course, as well as Google Play for Android and iCloud or iTunes for iPhone users.

The Examen Prayer App is made by The Prodigal Father, Fr. Michael Denk. It has an introductory video where Fr. Denk instructs users of the app through the Examen. Of the three apps, it has a space for journaling which can be shared to one's spiritual director, confessor, spouse or a trusted friend via email. It includes a social media channel for sharing on Twitter and Facebook. Of course, the choice to put up one's prayer petitions out there is a personal choice. The app is password protected. Users of the app can set the alarm as a reminder to do the Examen twice in a day.

What I like about this app is the space for journaling because I can go back to it to review my prayer journey, my prayer petitions and resolutions, and the grace received for each day.

The Jesuit Prayer is an online ministry of the Jesuit Midwest and Jesuit West in cooperation with the Spiritual Outreach through Leadership, LCC. The app presents the scriptural reading and Gospel for the day, then lead users of the app to Ignatian Reflection and Ignatian Prayer. There is a separate space for the Examen, prayer cards and a link to the Pope's Prayer.

The 3 Minute Retreat is the creation of Loyola Press. It lives up to its name. It is short, sweet and simple. Yet, it follows the five steps in the Examen. Of the three, this app is something I recommend for people starting out in the Examen. The Examen is a prayer technique that is not easy to do, but when done regularly and if the person is willing, then, he or she can start small and build up towards longer prayer time.

If you think these apps on the Examen can help you, why not try it out. There is nothing wrong with the traditional way of praying the Examen either. I think the beautiful thing about Ignatian Prayer is that we are able to meet God where ever we are in our life cycles and life journeys.

St. Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us!

Fan Girl Mode: With Fr. Manoling Francisco SJ

Over the weekend, I was up in Tagaytay for a retreat along with forty one members of the Magis Deo Community. This Annual Ignatian Retreat focused on the theme, Love Unto Death: the Passion and Death of Christ. Fr. Manoling Francisco SJ was our spiritual director. This is my second retreat by him.

He is, no doubt, a musical genius. In my first retreat by him, he composed a song impromptu using words, phrases and lines from the prayer we wrote to God. This was a retreat he gave for the Magis Deo Choir in 2011.

This time around, I discovered what a fantastic storyteller Fr. Manoling is! The Bible Exegesis he had was made more meaningful with real life stories of people who suffered but found virtue and grace in the process. Indeed, it was a life affirming retreat. Thank you, Fr. Manoling!

Online Retreat 2011: The Fugitives of Lent

Fr. Johnny Go SJ has set up an online retreat for Lent entitled, The Fugitives of Lent. He does this every year since, if I am not mistaken, 2007 and it has become a tradition.

It does not replace the actual retreat but enhances one's encounter with God. Click the link to go to the site.

6PM at the Novitiate

Chirping crickets.
Croaking Toads.
Ribiting frogs.

And Jesuit brothers
singing their vespers.