Showing posts with label Midlife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Midlife. Show all posts

Sunday, January 6, 2019

Looking Back and Looking Ahead (2 of 2)

Taken from the online advent retreat at Pins of Light. 
December 2018 had been a difficult month for me.

What I hoped to be a satisfying ending to a burdensome year turned out to be exactly what 2018 was for me. A year of disenchantment. I felt spent. World weary.

There were triumphs and victories, of course. As evidenced by the posts I made last month in the blog, I have been productive. I have helped my communities and they have patiently helped me too. I watched my children struggle and grow. And though I have had bouts with sickness and anxiety, I was able to seek medical attention and health care. I have work. I have friends. I have family. What do I have to complain about?

 Still, my heart was heavy at the changing of the year.

Hope was a flickering candle in the dark. My faith in humanity was hinged at the edge of a precipice. 

I am bringing these all in at the beginning of 2019. Do not mistake this for negativity. It is not. I am doing this to acknowledge three truths: life is not fair; life is hard; deal with it. As much as I want to be hopeful and happy all the time, I cannot.

But this, I know. I am capable of reviving hope. I will revise my dreams. And always, always I will seek my better angels.

Bring it on, 2019!


Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Pilgrim's Pit Stop: On the Journey to Midlife

One Saturday I was at the clinic of my primary care doctor. I was there so she could help me read the results of my blood chemistry (plan 12) and hematology. This reading helped me understand new terminology and words pertaining to my health in general. I was fascinated at the way my doctor read the results to me. Explaining every acronym such as SGPT, SGOT, BUN and what it indicates per reference value. Telling me about all the “philes” in my blood cells, what each of them mean and their difference with the “cytes”, the implications if results go over and beyond their value. It was a very informative and helpful session. I will never look at a blood cell the same way again.

Why I only learned about this now, I thought? The biology and health education I had back in the day didn’t sound this interesting. Aha. The folly of youth. If not for my mini-stroke two years ago, I would not pay attention to my changing body. Indeed, life is a bundle of experiences that needs to be unpacked, sorted and to make connections to new ones. Unknowingly sometimes, life experiences allow us to take random mental notes on imaginary posts its to be retrieved when the situation calls for it. And here, at the other side of the spectrum, I find myself being grateful for the benefits of ageing and growing old.

Long and short of it, the result of my blood test gave me reason to celebrate. Images of another cheat meal crossed my mind. Banana pancakes with a generous helping of maple syrup and whipped butter. Yummy. However, before I could run to the nearest branch of Pancake House, my doctor reminded me to drink plenty of water, take longer walks, spend more time in the sun, have enough sleep, 6-8 hours when possible, continue keeping a record of meals taken in a day and to keep smiling. Lastly, she gave me a list of medical specialists to see. Optlhalmologist. Cardiologist. Gynecologist. And my dear Neurologist. Sigh. The GIST saga continues. There goes my cheat meal ideas out the window. Salamat po, doktora!

Seriously, I have been thanking God for answered prayers. One of which is the provision for medical access with doctors who truly care for their patients. For two years now, I have seen doctors who dispense and prescribe medicines with utmost care, taking into consideration my medical history first of all. The other month, the dermatologist told me to anticipate changes in hormones as I age. The eye doctor I paid a visit to last week sensed my anxiety when he mentioned the need to use progressive lenses. He calmly said, Lahat tayo darating sa ganyang pagbabago sa buhay. He smiled and added, You are not alone. How comforting.

At that instance, I acknowledge God’s presence in my life. He is in all things and in all beings. I only need to humbly seek Him and ask Him for graces. He is all I need. He is enough.  
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