Perspective Taking on the HOTS Concert Experience: A reflection from the line where we stood.

I’ve been thinking about grace a lot lately, in the context of fangirling in general and in light of Hobi’s Hope on the Stage concert tour; how people describe it, claim it, and carry it.

After J-Hope’s HOTS concert, I saw fans say they were “blessed by the universe,” “sumakses”, Lady Luck smiled at them, and that it was “grace” that led them to be there. And truly, witnessing a moment like that, to breathe the same air as someone you’ve loved and followed through years of growth, pain, the uncertainty of military service and silence, is a blessing. I won’t deny that.

But it got me thinking about grace that isn’t just about being chosen. It’s also about how we show up and who we show up for.

Many of us stood in long, glitching lines. We clicked and waited. We wept after losing tickets we fought for honestly. We faced scams and scalpers, unfair systems, and the silence of those in power and with leadership positions in fanbases who could’ve helped, but didn’t. Still, we stayed. We cheered from the sidelines. We held the light for Team Loob and Team Labas.

So when joy is posted like a trophy, when it flexes without honoring the ones still grieving missed chances, it doesn’t feel like grace. It feels like erasure and exclusion.

And maybe that’s what hurts most: that while ARMYs were expectant, hoping their peers, leaders and friends in the fanbases would carry the banner of loyalty through BTS’ enlistment, some chose to stay quiet. Then came back only when the music and lights returned, claiming fate and favor. As if the hard part never happened.

This isn’t to shame joy. Joy is sacred. But real joy remembers. It honors the community that held the silence, the ones who kept the faith, and the ones who never stopped loving even when there was nothing to gain.

So no, I’m not bitter. I’m just present. I see the gaps. I remember the waiting.

And I’m writing this not to take anyone’s happiness away, but to ask: can we hold joy and accountability in the same hand?

Because I believe grace isn’t just about being there. It’s about how you get there. And what you do with the light once it’s yours.

With love and fire,

Tita Zee